Her birthday was also her “birth day”

7 Feb

I’m full of the day I just experienced.  My niece is 29 today.  Typhannie is one month older than my son, who has just completed the coursework for his Ph.D.   Our family was heart broken when we found out she was pregnant again this past year (sans husband).    Last fall, however, a miracle happened.  My brother, with whom she resides, called me with a question- “What would you think if Typhannie put this baby up for adoption?”  Since I was driving, I had to pull off the the road in order to adequately express my enthusiasm at the prospect.  Michael was uncertain since Typhaniie’s mother was so opposed to the idea.

This is a girl who wants more for herself and her five year old son.  She wants to finish school and longs for self sufficiency.  She had concluded, as she disclosed in our many subsequent conversations, this could not be achieved were she to be saddled with yet another child out of wedlock.

Now to today….My sister-in-law Nancy (married to my other brother), Katie (my marriage and family therapist almost daughter-in-law) awoke at 4:30 this morning to travel to Lakeland, Florida for the birth.  We were greeted by the adoptive father nervously pacing the waiting room.  The controlled excitement on the faces of these hopeful, soon to be parents was palpable.  They desperately wanted this baby but knew they had to navigate carefully through this morass of hormones and emotions.  And it was emotional as Typhannie gave birth to a beautiful, healthy, eight pound baby boy.

Typhannie’s mom, a dysfunctional narcissist, could not have been less helpful or more hurtful- a consistent pattern of hers in the life of her daughter throughout the past 29 years.  She demanded the day be all about her and her needs.  She sorely underestimated the fearsome threesome sitting in that waiting room next to the soon to be parents, however.

I don’t know the end of this story right now.   I, along with my two compatriots, am emotionally and physically exhausted.  We gave this girl presents and praise today, so filled with pride were we at her incredible bravery.  She has six weeks during which she can change her mind.  We are organizing an army of family support through Facebook and other social media sites.  Let’s hope Collin (the newborn) remains nestled in the arms of his new family and Typhannie embarks on a journey toward self esteem and self sufficiency.

I know this will not be a day I’ll ever forget.


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