Women Wear A Lot of Hats

My friend, Cynthia, attempted to introduce me recently to one of her friends.  I saw a slight hesitation flicker across her face as she struggled with a label for me.  This did not surprise me in the least as I, like so many Lady Boomers, wear a lot of hats.  At an average age of 60, Baby Boomer women have lived multiple roles and occupations over the course of their varied lives.

I too am confused about what to call or label myself.  I love being a Mom to my adult children; my husband and I own a market research firm conducting survey and focus group research for campaigns and companies; and I am director of the Jeremiah Project, a creative arts program for at risk kids.  But what I really love is writing this blog.  This blog is evolving into a book and accompanying journal entitled, “Be Brave. Lose the Beige”.  I’m a clay artist and enjoy creating clay sculptures, some of which illustrate this blog and book.  So what is my identity exactly?  I feel like such a hybrid of several different roles.  I think many of us Lady Boomers feel the same way.  My husband came up with a fun label for me – Claywriter.  I really love the term.  It describes at least two of my roles (clay artist and writer).  Why not try creating a fun word to describe yourself and your pursuits? Don’t let the English language limit your choices.  Post a comment to share your new found I.D.

The Hats Women Wear

 

Choose the Healthy Choice

My husband and I returned from an evening exercise class at the Y and decided to try the Healthy Choice Italian Sausage Pasta and the Slow Roasted Turkey Bake for dinner since we were not in the mood to cook.  I’ve been participating in a Healthy Choice campaign via Vibrant Nation (an online site for women over 45).  I’ve been sampling their new lines of frozen yogurt, café steamers, and now baked entrees.  While they are paying me for my opinion, they are not influencing me in any way.

But, back to the meal at hand.   Since visiting Italy several years ago, my husband has been a huge Italian sausage fan.  He absolutely loved this entrée saying the dish tasted like real Italian sausage with all the requisite spices, including the fennel.  The Slow Roasted Turkey Bake tasted like Thanksgiving dinner, complete with green bean and onion casserole.  Check it out all of their baked entrees by clicking here.

Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers

I’m still on my Healthy Choice taste testing campaign.  While they are paying me and supplying the entrees, my opinions are my own and are not influenced by Healthy Choice.  It has been so fun trying out their line of café steamers.  The first entrée I tried was the Ricotta & Spinach ravioli and chicken marinara.  I was hurrying to make a meeting so popped it in the microwave for five minutes, warmed up vegetables from the previous night and had myself a delicious lunch.  I love ravioli and have since I was a kid eating Chef Boyardee ravioli out of a can.  This is a grown up version of ravioli on the go.  First of all, I love the fact Healthy choice uses whole grain pasta and no preservatives (I don’t think the same could be said for the ravioli of my youth).  I was pleasantly surprised by this frozen dinner dish.  The ravioli tasted like ravioli and the chicken like pieces of chicken I would cook myself.  I also like the fact it’s 260 calories.  You can check out their selection of Cafe Steamers by clicking here.

Lady Boomer Survey

I’m a numbers junkie.  I’ve been in the survey research business for more than 25 years.  I’m interested in learning more about Lady Boomers- women of the Baby Boomer generation, so Be Brave. Lose the Beige will be conducting a survey each month targeting this demographic group.  Please click here to take a 2 question survey about employment issues.  Thank you for contributing.

Be Brave. Lose the Beige logo

Wisdom on Women from Maya Angelou

I love this woman wisdom from Maya Angelou

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … by Maya Angelou

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a youth she’s content to leave behind….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will
make her guests feel honored…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a feeling of control over her destiny…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to quit a job, break up with a lover and confront a friend without ruining the friendship…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that her childhood may not have been perfect…but it’s over…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW….
how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
where to go…be it to her best friend’s kitchen table or a charming Inn in the woods
when her soul needs soothing…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
What she can and can’t accomplish in a day, a month…and a year…

 

Mother Teresa Wisdom

I think this quote applies to a lot of women I know-

“I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle.  I just wish God didn’t trust me so much”  – Mother Teresa

Halloween Isn’t the Only Time We Wear Masks

Be Brave. Lose the Beige embarked upon a seasonal journey with our Lady Boomers this past year.  This month our gathering focused upon the “masks” we wear using the metaphor of Halloween to inspire us. Our “mask” is the face we present to the world.  We have a wardrobe of different masks for different people and occasions.   This topic inevitably led to a discussion about all the hats women wear and the roles they occupy- mother, daughter, wife, sister, grandmother, employee, friend…so many masks,  how can we have congruency with some of these masks, allowing people to see our true selves?

Using crayons and markers, participants illustrated the persona or mask(s) they present to others.  I am continuously blown away by the candor and connection these women demonstrate in our sessions, and this one did not disappoint.

The following are a few of their illustrations and reflections:

Margrette divided her mask.  One side reflected her leadership skills, her logical self;  the other side reflected her squiggly line self.    

 

Theo created a beautiful mask saying her light shown inward in her early years, becoming more outward as job descriptions required.  She has found her self going inward again as she was faces a new chapter in her life.  

 

Trish’s mask was a study in contrasts and intense colors- rich blues and oranges.  She noted how her favorite color is orange-  Orange is optimistic, sociable and even adventurous, consistent characteristics with Trish’s outward persona.

 

Lynn wrote on her beautiful mask-  “Who am I?  My face is an open book.  My emotions are usually on public display.”

 

 

 

 

M.R.S. or Ph.D. No More!

As I’ve confessed before, I’m a bit of a numbers junkie so I was fascinated when I read an article in the Sunday New York Times by Stephanie Coontz entitled, “The M.R.S. and the P.h.D.: The Myth of the Spurned and Single Educated Woman”.   The article was chalk full of statistics about the evolution of the educated woman, and her prospects for marriage.

Coontz noted that prior to 1900, three quarters of women who graduated from college remained single; even as late as 1950, 33% of college graduates aged 55-59 had never been married, compared to only 7% of non-college educated women.  A physician opined in a 1905 magazine that an educated woman would develop a self assertive character which made it impossible to love, honor and obey as a real wife should.”  Post war dating manuals advised women to “play dumb” to catch a man.  As a guidebook warned, “be careful not to seem smarter than your man”.  In 1956, “education and intelligence” ranked 11^th out of an 18 point scale in the qualities sought by men in a mate.  Much more important was finding a good cook and housekeeper who had a pleasing disposition.

Fast forward to today when 60% of the undergraduate and half the graduate degrees are being earned by women. There has been a historic reversal in the “success” penalty for educated women.  By 2008, the percentage of college educated white women, ages 55-59, who never married was down to 9 percent (remember the 33% in 1950) and among 35-39 year old women, there is no longer any difference.

I just have one thing to say –  THANK GOD!  My hope is that these educated women will impose their “self assertive characters” on the men in their lives who often dominate institutions like congress/legislatures, religion, and corporations, for control over their own lives, pocketbooks and bodies.

Lady Boomer Love

Be Brave. Lose the Beige is the name of this blog and the name of a group of Lady Boomers with whom I have the privilege of working.  Be Brave. Lose the Beige encourages women to discover their own colorful, creative spirits, and to adopt a more playful attitude in their daily lives.    As evidence of how these women are taking this advice to “heart”, I’m attaching photos of clay creations made by participants at a mini-Valentine’s retreat.  Thank you ladies for agreeing to share these adorable creations.

New Year’s Resolution- Park It; Plant it; Pedal it; Preserve it!

Post 10 of Be Brave. Lose the Beige’s 12 days of New Years Resolutions is Park it; Plant it; Pedal it; Preserve it!

The past couple of years have seen an emerging emphasis on buying and being “green”. While we do our part to recycle and conserve energy we either don’t really know what else to do for the effort or we think it all sounds a bit PCG (politically correct to be green). I have a proposal for the new year- Park it, pedal it, preserve it, at least on the occasional weekend. 

  You drive to work all week. Driving is boring and fraught with hassles. Why not leave the car in the garage and ride your bike wherever you need to go. Put saddlebags on your bike and only buy as many groceries as will fit into your bag..biking makes everyday chores more fun. Take a ride on a bike trail. You get the triple benefit of exercise, being outdoors, and actually getting to a destination. Bike riding is one of my favorite activities. I feel youthful and free like I did when I was a kid and my ticket to freedom was my bicycle. It’s a fun way to help protect the planet. 

Post 11 of Be Brave. Lose the Beige’s 12 days of New Years Resolutions is “Throw Yourself a Tea Party”.

The white rabbit in Alice In Wonderland kept muttering…“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date“ And I say, yes you are! That very important date is with yourself, at least once in a while. It’s a great idea to take a break from stress and schedules and invite yourself out to a virtual tea party. If you don’t want to actually host a tea party for your self complete with mismatched cups and saucers, tea sandwiches, and one rather toothy cat, why not envision some other kind of afternoon or evening date with yourself. It can be in whatever form you choose – a walk in the park, a shopping expedition, a spa treatment, a museum outing, a movie, rifling through an antique shop – whatever the activity, it should be one of your favorites and it should be done alone. It’s amazing how little time we spend with ourselves and how rejuvenating it can be. Pamper your passions. This is your opportunity to be just a little bit selfish.